Update: This Babymaker thing is kind of clever. I think I figured out how it “works.” I tried an experiment and mated a bowling ball with a pair of dice and I got a normal-looking baby out of it. Then I mated two completely white images and also got a normal baby from it. What I think is going on is that the Flash scripting looks at the races of the parents and then pulls an assortment of facial features from a database, slapping them together in a random approximation of what a kid would look like based on racial skin color and facial features. Clever, but tricky. Just my style…

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Volkswagen of America is promoting their Routan car, whatever that is. Anyway, Oddcast, a developer and distributor of “speaking avatar products,” has developed for Volkswagen the RoutanBabymaker3000. What it has to do with selling cars, I have no idea, but it’s a pretty cool application. Using photos of a potential mother and father, you can generate images of what their offspring might look like. The final results can be saved, emailed, etc., and what you see initially on the screen is actually an animation that, although obviously not real, is still pretty darned realistic. The head and eyes even follow your cursor. It’s worth checking out, but it may be a bit difficult to access at times.

I’ve decided to see what spawn may have been produced with various figures from history, shown below. I may do more with some older figures from history.

If John McCain as the mother mated with… + Barack Obama as the father… = you would get this baby: If Sarah Palin mated with… + Spongebob Squarepants… = you would get this baby: If this ugly twin brother as the mother mated with… + this ugly twin brother as the father… = you would get this baby: If Eva Braun mated with… + Adolph Hitler… = you would get this perfect speciment of the Aryan race: If George W. Bush mated with… + a chimp… = you would get this baby: If George W. Bush mated with… + himself, after being told to go f*ck himself… = you would apparently get the infant Karl Childers from Slingblade:

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Well, aside from a couple of too-close-to-call states and the December 15 blessing of the Electoral College, the 2008 elections are history and Barack Obama will be our new president.

I’m happy. I voted for Obama, not because he’s black, not because he’s a Democrat, not because he’s young, not because he’s liberal. Part of the reason I voted for Obama is because I liked his ideas for the future better, and because his choice for running mate didn’t insult our intelligence. However, the biggest reason I voted for him is because he presented a much more insightful and controlled persona than did John McCain.

It’s been a long time since we’ve had someone of humility in the White House, and I’d be willing to say the last president we had with that trait was Jimmy Carter. I have a feeling Obama will bring that to the presidency.

So who really won last night’s election?

African Americans? Sure, I guess. But so did Hispanics. So did Asians. And Jews. And Muslims. And Scientologists. Hindus. The handicapped. Gays. The transgendered (is that an accepted phrase?). Catholics, as a religious minority, won in 1960 with the election of John F. Kennedy, but they won again last night since they haven’t had anyone in that office since then.

Even John McCain and his supporters won last night.

America as a whole grew a few inches taller last night by demonstrating that, finally race wasn’t an issue in deciding who will lead the country. Would this have happened earlier with the right candidate? Could this have happened, now or before, with a candidate of a different minority? All we can do is guess.

The fact is, though, is that we made the leap. We’ve taken a big step away from our national youth and toward adulthood. I’m proud and happy for our African Americans, and I’m just as proud and happy, if not more so, for our country.

Addendum

Okay, so I’m a sexist pig. Well, not really, but the minority that’s so large it’s actually the majority - women - also benefits from this step forward, the same as the other groups I’ve mentioned. Now that at least one “stumbling block” has been overcome - race - we can now concentrate on electing the best person for the job, not the best white guy. Although if the best person for the job is a white guy, great. I hope I can count on your vote in 2016.

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My state, California, is another thing however. Proposition 8 was a ballot item intended to ban same-sex marriages. California has already had same-sex marriages for awhile now, but the passing of 8 bans that option. I voted no on 8, and it was a pretty close race, but apparently a small majority of straight Californians aren’t secure enough in their sexuality to allow others freedom in their own sexual preferences. The next time you see a jacked-up pickup truck roaring down the freeway with its rubber trailer hitch testicles flopping in the wind, you’ll know what their vote was. Even though California was solidly in Obama’s side of the ring, the Golden State still has a way to go before growing a real pair, not just the rubber ones.

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I haven’t been this excited since I was first potty trained a few years back!

I’m a bit busy today, so I’ll post these widgets for the national and California races. Hopefully I’ll be back tomorrow with a recap — or post-mortem.

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Key kids, wanna’ make a movie?! I know I do. In fact, since 1968, when 2001: A Space Odyssey was released (I was a space buff and that’s what got my interest), I wanted to be involved in filmmaking. At first, having seen the models used in the film, I wanted to be what I thought was a designer, but what was really a model maker. In the few years that followed, I gradually learned to appreciate film for its own sake. So now, after many fits and starts, it my time to dip a toe into the waters of filmmaking. I’ve been on the periphery before, working as a usually unpaid production assistant on other projects, working as a grip, recording sound, camera operating and being the director of photography, editing, even being an extra or playing some silly role in short films. Over the last few years, I’ve been buying equipment - lights, camera gear, tripods, etc., just about everything needed to make a fairly professional-looking film. My previous background as a newspaper photographer (including studio work) will come in handy, even though my “movin’ pitchers” will be shot digitally (although I’ve shot on honest to goodness film before, too). I have a story I’ve been mulling over in my head for a long time. Duvantin is the title, the name of a fictional drug (and purely by coincidence, the name of a street in Paris, rue Duvantin). At this point, I’m being a bit vague about the story, since some of it depends on what locations I can secure. The story, once finished, should be pretty good. I’ve got my eye on some locations for filming, and the San Diego Film Commission will likely assist in security the locations. I’m including some artwork here, posters for use in the film, etc., along with a screensaver and a goofy little Flash animation. If you’re interested in helping out, either in the cast, as a member of the crew, providing a location, or whatever, let me know here, or visit Malfunction Films.

Download the Duvantin screensaver (PC only)

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Okay, the title of this post was written in the spirit of sarcasm.

I’m going to get a bit political here. I’ll be discussing California’s Proposition 8, the initiative to - once again - make marriage unavailable to gay couples. I’m not gay, and to my knowledge I don’t know any gays or lesbians. I may in fact know some, but if I do, I don’t know they’re gay. Or at least I can’t remember, probably because it doesn’t matter to me.

First, my position.

I don’t have a problem with men marrying men or women marrying women. They can marry inanimate objects for all I care. It doesn’t affect me, and preventing it only affects those that can’t do it. I don’t even care what it’s called. Marriage is fine with me. Domestic partnerships. Mind melding. Whatever. They can call it Ferflibmeltericedz for all I care. Pairing up as a committed couple is just that, regardless of what you call it.

My problem is with those that are against it. How is it going to affect you? How about your kids? What if your kids end up “deciding to become gay?” (In quotes, because I know it’s not a decision.)

Let’s say that California’s “Moron Majority” turns out in force and sweeps gay marriage back into the dark. How is that changing their own lives or the lives of their family members? Gays are still going to be around. (They queer, they’re here, get used to it!) They’re still going to be doing things that make you question your own sexuality (admit it, you have, c’mon…). They’re still going to walk in public, holding hands. They’re still going to sometimes even KISS in public. Married or not, it’s going to happen whether you like it or not.

“Oh, but I don’t want my kids exposed to that.” Well guess what? See the previous paragraph. Single straight folks do the same things in public as gay folks, and in fact, probably more of it. Gays still get bashed, physically and verbally, so unfortunately they’ve got a reason for being more discrete. Maybe you should outlaw public displays of affection, regardless of sexual orientation (verboten liebe).

Here’s an idea. If you’re afraid of your kids being exposed to the real world, let’s consider these ballot proposals:

1. No openly visible tattoos (what sort of anti-social messages will corrupt our kids?)
2. No public displays of affection (we don’t want the kids’ hormones to kick in and start early puberty, do we?)
3. Marriages and dating only between adults of opposite sexes, and only within three skin color shades of each other (we still want to be able to pick out “other people” without confusion, right?)
4. Loose-fitting pelvic garments for all family pets (our kids don’t need to be asking “what’s that” at too early an age)
5. Hot dogs will be required to be reformed into hamburger-style patties (for too long, hot dogs have prompted kids to use the words “weenie” and “wiener”)
6. Homogenized milk will be referred to as “very will mixed” milk, for obvious reasons
7. “Oral” will be called “mouthular”

These are just a few of my ideas. Feel free to email me with others so we can make our neighborhoods more like D*sneyland (trying to avoid being sued), except without the pedophile costumed characters.

In case you haven’t realized, I’m being facetious, and I’ll be voting “no” on Proposition 8. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect. On the rare occasion I see a gay couple holding hands or kissing, I… hmm… I notice it. It’s only because I don’t see it often, and it’s certainly not their problem, it’s mine. Please don’t think that I have a problem with it, it’s just not something I’m used to seeing… yet. Hopefully the world will change enough so that we all get a bit more used to it.

There are plenty of other worthy political and social problems to write about before the election. Maybe I’ll get to those. In the meantime…

http://www.noonprop8.com/

(Interesting note: I just noticed that in the Google ads that are showing up here, none are for any gay-related cause, pro or con. Hmmm, what’s up with Google?)

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I just saw that Google Ads displayed an ad for Ann Coulter in the left column of my blog. DO NOT CLICK ON IT!!! Coulter is a moronic, skanky, under-fed, right wing lunatic, and I don’t want to endorse her idiotic ideas.

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My wife Laurie is into reptiles, and about a year ago she bought a female Crested Gecko. The breeders named her Paige, so Laurie kept the name. I wasn’t a fan of reptiles, I was pretty neutral when it came to having them as pets. Not much personality, so they seemed more like animated ornamentation. Over the past year, though, I’ve begun to see little bits of personality shine through. I’m sure she’s really not any different, behavior-wise, than any other Crested Gecko (female, at least), but still, she’s kind of entertaining to watch when she’s active.

We’ve also got three cats, and of course they’d all love to feast on some fresh lizard, so we have to be careful about bringing Paige out of her tank. Last night Laurie managed to get our two most active cats into the bedroom with the door closed, so she brought Paige out for a glamor photo session. I’ve posted a couple of photos here.

Paige was on me for awhile, commuting between my right hand and my face and scalp, using my arm as her personal road. I’m guessing she liked the heat from my head.

We’re thinking of getting another female so Paige has some company. Males would try to mate with her, giving us lots of gecko eggs that we wouldn’t be able to raise or turn into omelets.

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I love it when I stumble across bloopers. CNN.com had a fairly innocent one. They often post “breaking news” banners at the top of their pages, and they ran something about Dubyah’s comments about the economy.

If you click on this link, it will open a new window with a Flash animation. I didn’t embed it here, as the banner is too wide, and shrinking it down would make it unreadable. The first banner you’ll see is the replacement banner, put up a minute or two after I saw the first banner, the second one to be displayed in the animation.

Anyway, I wonder what sort of double entendre CNN.com had in mind when they posted the first banner. Perhaps they felt the ruling class would get their jollies watching the rest of us squirm? (Again, I have no doubt it was an honest mistake.) So click here to see it…

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Boing Boing, one of the blogs I follow on a daily basis and comment on almost as often, seems to have found the power of censorship. They don’t claim a particular political or social leaning, although in my opinion they tend to follow a liberal or libertarian line. Nothing wrong at all with that, I believe - it’s how I generally feel about things.

However, they’ve lately taken to “disemvowelling” comments that don’t meet their posting guidelines. Disemvowelling involves a moderator removing all the vowels from an offending post, leaving what’s left so, apparently, they can’t be accused of censorship. Many visitors to Boing Boing have mentioned this, and a few have sworn off of visiting Boing Boing because of it.

I can understand doing this kind of thing if a comment directly insults another commenter or is just a post intended to waste everyone’s time, but in many, nay, most cases, that’s not the cause. Boing Boing commenters generally tend to be literate and intelligent (I can’t speak for myself), and I rarely see anything that just takes up space.

So it seems that Boing Boing is adopting the same strategy as other not-so-fair-and-balanced media outlets, including various political regimes (past and present, foreign and domestic).

I for one will continue reading and posting (if they don’t ban me), but I’ll have to take what they write with a skeptical eye and rely more on the commenters for free intellectual discussion.

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Seven hundred billion dollars. 700,000,000,000. Seven hundred billion dollar bills weighs 771,617.918 tons.

Seventy trillion pennies. 70,000,000,000,000. Seventy trillion uncirculated 2008 pennies weighs 192,904,479 tons.

Seven hundred billion dollars is thirty five billion twenty dollar bills. 35,000,000,000. Thirty five billion twenty dollar bills weighs 38,580.8959 tons.

That’s a shitload of lap dances for the Wall Street types.

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